Daily Living Blog

Senior Care Check-Up Just In Time For The Holidays

Continuing our theme for the winter season and the holidays – we wanted to share this wonderful article,

Do A Senior Care Checkup When You Visit For The Holidays

Joe Freudenthal, Vintage Senior Living, edited this from an article written by Julie Northcutt.

Seniors Weathering The Storm

Do you have an aging loved one who lives alone? Are you a caregiver dedicated to caring for someone who is homebound? Are you a senior that has difficulty getting out when the weather gets bad?

Recently, we had our first minor snowstorm. Schools were closed, church services were canceled and some areas even lost power; local weather forecasters warned not to leave home unless absolutely necessary. While this was a hindrance to some of us, it was more severe for others. Aging seniors often feel the impact of inclement weather more harshly. Many drive only during the day or rely on assistance from family and friends for rides. When storms come, these seniors are often blocked completely from their normal routine. Additionally, their caregivers may not be able to reach them as they are coping with their own travel restrictions.

Thankfully, with weather, we are often given a warning that a storm is brewing. With this in mind, we have compiled a list of reminders to assist our aging seniors with preparing for the winter season and storms that are sure to come our way.

1. Home Preparation: Make sure the home is ready for winter. Help keep the cold out by installing storm window and/or covering the windows with sturdy plastic. Remember to remove hoses from outdoor water faucets and insulate pipes to keep from freezing. Check fire detectors, CO2 detectors and fire extinguishers. During colder weather – allow indoor faucets to drip to decrease a chance of the pipes freezing.
2. Snow Removal: Check for tools to help with snow removal. Ensure that there is a good snow shovel, rock salt, sand or kitty litter for slippery driveways and walks. Arrange for someone to clear the walkways when it does snow. If your aging loved one lives a distance away, consider hiring a local neighbor to assist with clearing paths, stairs and walkways.
3. Essentials: Make a trip to the store for supplies before the storm comes. Don’t forget essentials, such as prescription medications, extra batteries, first-aid supplies, a week’s supply of food (non-perishable), and bottled water. High energy food, such as dried fruit, nuts, and canned goods that do not require heating are best. Plan on a gallon of water per day per person. Don’t forget a manual can opener. Gather extra blankets, sleeping bags, and warm clothing (at least one change of clothes for each family member).
4. If power outage occurs: Plan a safe alternate source of heat if possible. Keep an ample supply of wood for the fireplace or a kerosene space heater with extra heating fuel. Talk with your aging loved ones about a plan of action and remind them of how to stay warm safely. Make sure that there are flashlights with extra batteries, or candles and matches. Have a portable battery-operated radio to stay tuned to local news. If the furnace goes out, take these precautions. Close off any rooms that aren’t needed. Stuff towels in cracks and under doors to prevent heat loss. Cover windows with blankets at night. Remember to stay nourished and hydrated so the body can produce its own heat.
5. Communication: Have a plan on how best to stay in communication so that you can check on your family and friends. Emergency cell phones are available – just ensure that they have been charged prior to the storm.

As you are going over your checklist with your family and friends this winter season, please remember to embrace those who do not have anyone nearby to assist them. Is there an elderly neighbor that is alone? Someone at church who could use your help? Are there Meals on Wheels programs or Senior Service groups that could use a hand when storms come? We encourage you to reach out and help others to have a Life Unlimited no matter the season!

Ruthie’s Lime-Green Polka Dot Socks

Submitted by Vicky Vaughan

It was only about 36 degrees when we pulled out of the driveway to head to Overland Park, Kansas for church Sunday morning. We serve as pastors at an assisted living/Alzheimer care facility where those who, for whatever reason, are no longer able to attend their own churches. The beautiful sunlit thirty minute drive was just a foretaste of the joyous time we were to experience with our folks yesterday during our little one-hour service.

After we arrived, fifteen of our beloved senior friends made their way into the multi-purpose room of the facility, each one finding a place to sit in the circle and we were thrilled to see them all. Everywhere I looked, there were wheelchairs, walkers or canes. More importantly, though, there were human beings. God’s children.

I have many stories to tell about them all, for they are all very dear to my heart. But today I want to tell you about one in particular. Her name is Ruthie. (Her name has been changed in this article to protect her true identity.)

I was especially pleased to see our dear Ruthie show up for church, as she is not always able to be there. A staff member has to bring her because she lives on the ‘locked’ side of the facility, where the residents with memory care issues reside. Ruthie loves church and really hates to miss it. She doesn’t talk much, but when she does, she is very clear.

The very first conversation we had was pretty much a single sentence from her. She walked right up to me and said, in a very matter-of-fact tone, “You have pretty hair.” End of conversation. She turned and went to find a place to sit. Wow. I didn’t know enough about her to know if she COULD talk back then. In that moment, I learned not to underestimate or prejudge the abilities or awareness of an elderly person for any reason.

One of the things I love about Ruthie is the way she dresses. She is very particular about her appearance, always making sure that everything she is wearing is color coordinated. Two weeks ago, her color of choice was green. From head to toe, Ruthie was covered in green. Clothes, shoes, jewelry – everything was green – clear down to her lime green polka-dot socks. Brilliantly green. Ruthie was beautiful and she was wearing the sermon on her feet. Yes, the lime green polka-dot socks spoke to everyone in the room and became the lesson of love from Jesus’ heart that day.

Just looking at the socks made us all smile. We sang a hymn and I danced with Ruthie while we all sang. Ruthie loves to dance. I wondered what else she loves to do. I challenged everyone to remember those socks whenever they felt discouraged. We all wondered if Ruthie would be able to attend the next service, too. I was very curious to see what she would have on her feet if she did!

Once again, Ruthie blessed us with her fashion sense yesterday. Her color of choice was pink. Head to toe. Glancing down at her feet, I was so pleased to see the pretty pink socks with the rainbows and clouds on them. Two of the women decided they are definitely going shopping to find some outrageously colorful socks to wear. Ruthie’s bold taste was an inspiration to them. Everyone loved the socks. And I loved the opportunity to be able to encourage them once again in a way that they may be able to remember. By the end of the service, everyone was more cheerful and encouraged. It’s amazing what God can do with a pair of socks!

We talked about Jesus and how much He loves us. We talked about how our bodies begin to betray us as we grow older and oftentimes our minds do, too. We talked about how we learn something new every day, even if it’s just how to take a new medicine or an interesting fact about the life of a friend. We talked about how we might forget the things we’ve learned because of things like dementia or Alzheimer’s, but Jesus never forgets that we learned them and He takes care of us when we are not able to take care of ourselves.

Many times, we have talked about how we’re all just a bunch of kids inside of wrinkly old bodies that don’t work like they used to work and how we’re always shocked when we look in the mirror and see an old person staring back at us! We laughed, knowing that sometimes younger people just don’t get it, just like we didn’t get it when we were their ages, either, and we were sobered by the awareness that one day they will be the ‘crazy old people’ that the next generation will not understand.

We talked about remembering that the Lord still has purpose for their lives on this earth, or He would have taken them home by now. We talked about the importance of becoming like little children again and we read the verses about Jesus and the children that the disciples wanted Him to send away. Our services are simple. And the Lord is always present with us.

We’ve been going to this particular facility for the last five years, holding Sunday services with them and occasionally officiating or performing at a funeral for one who has ‘graduated’ to heaven. Only two of the seniors from our original little ‘congregation’ remain. Ruthie is one of them. Many have come and gone, for one reason or another. Some have moved to other facilities or into the homes of family members. I wonder about them all.

I’ve sat with some of them as they cried, feeling totally abandoned and unloved by their own families. My heart breaks for those who don’t understand why they are there and why they can’t go home. Who are these people and what were their lives like before they became ‘old’? How does it feel to find yourself in a place where you’re not related to anyone, including the people who are taking care of you?

I wonder about the wisdom that our generations are missing because we have chosen to forget about the elderly because of their ages. That seems insane to me now, although it probably didn’t seem insane when I was young and full of myself and my own ‘wisdom’. I was like so many others – I didn’t have time for them!

I’ve seen and learned many things. I know that my knowledge is still so limited where these folks and their lives are concerned. And as I watch the decline in the physical and/or mental health of some of them – changes that sometimes seem to occur almost over the course of a few days – I am encouraged and humbled by their quiet strength, their seemingly limitless determination to face head-on the trials of old age that are a constant assault against their minds and bodies – many times without the comfort of even one family member to turn to nearby. And I stand in wonder at the God who, in His infinite wisdom, chooses to let them live. They have purpose. They have great worth in His eyes. And those are the eyes that matter.

We have tremendous opportunities before us; opportunities to allow change within us to propel us forward into greater blessings…blessings of the joys that come as we honor those who have lived much longer than we have lived.

Blessings that come as we embrace those who may just know a lot more about life than we do – as we watch and learn from their lives, their hopes and dreams and the lessons they learned along the way. Blessings that come, as we step outside of ourselves and our very busy and hurrying world and fall into step with our parents, grandparents, elderly neighbors and friends for this season in their lives. Blessings that come to them and to us as we listen to their stories, loving each one with our undivided attention.

Many of our senior citizens are very lonely. Extremely lonely. Many of them want someone to talk to, someone to listen to, someone to give them a hug and a kind word. I wrote this article to give the readers a tiny glimpse into the world of the elderly. It is truly a very tiny glimpse, I know. But if it inspires you to consider this season of the year as a reflection of what your own life may be like in the not-too-distant future, then perhaps it will also inspire you to do something about those who already find themselves there.

I truly believe that one of the greatest blessings we will ever find in life comes from being a servant to others. It’s an honor to be able to serve our elderly human family members, whether we are related to them physically or not. So whether you choose to get involved through a nursing home, an assisted living facility or with the senior citizens in your family or neighborhood, please just get involved. Be a friend and be a student.

Do it for them. You’ll be amazed by the changes that you experience as you give more of yourself away for the life of someone else. Will you please join us? Right now there’s a ‘Ruthie’ for you out there, somewhere. Sitting in her little room wearing her lime-green polka dot socks, just waiting.

Vicky
http://vickyvmusic.blogspot.com

Caregiver Insight

By Laurel Litle Clark

Much of our healthcare reform is focused on direct care and insurance, and little is said about the home caregivers. Personally, I’ve not thought much about them. I recently had the opportunity to spend a week helping my 37 year old sister and her family, though, and I didn’t know how hard it could be.

My sister had been placed on bed rest 10 weeks prior to my visit due to pregnancy complications. She had possibly 21 more weeks to go if her pregnancy went to full term. Our father had flown out to help two months before I came, and I was going to give him a week’s break from assisting my sister’s husband with her care, and from watching their four-year-old son.

Before I came, we had already been trolling the Internet in search of solutions for bed rest, where she was required to lie down most of the time. We researched bedside tables, shower chairs, cups with straws, pillows for support… all minor things, but major for her comfort.

Since I had the luxury of working for a home medical equipment company, I had a vast resource at my disposal. Even so, frustration was high. Bedside tables were the wrong size and style for her bed, which was not on a frame. Her 1950s cottage was too small to store the shower chair easily when not in use. Precariously balanced meal dishes or the eternal bedside glass of water she was to drink were prime spilling targets for a very active four-year-old boy. Non-essential equipment, from the cheapest straws to the expensive mattress cover, was not covered by her military insurance, and added up quickly in costs for her temporary medical situation. And the hours of research were exhausting for everyone. We marveled at all the information available, and cried at the task of sorting through everything.

When I arrived, I found my sister’s husband working hard, caring for a child and bed-ridden wife on a special diet. Every meal and snack was meticulously planned and timed, with carbohydrates and proteins calculated for her newly diagnosed diabetes. Their son became ill the week I was there and we lost sleep. Non-crucial housekeeping chores were all but shoved aside at times. Every day seemed to bring a new situation with choices to be made, and the mental energy requirements took their toll.
I left exactly one week after I arrived, able to return to my own everyday healthy child care giving. But what about my sister’s husband, who was barely able to go to work, let alone get some much-needed relief from caring for those he loves? What about my 74-year-old father who was dealing with a newly diagnosed case of cellulitis and was to prop up his foot for several days while he also assisted with care giving? What about those who have a husband or wife debilitated by stroke, with little hope of a positive ending in 21 weeks as my sister was likely to have?

The struggle left an impression on me. Caregivers need trustworthy resources in which to turn during a healthcare situation. When crisis hits, sifting through the mountains of information seems almost impossible, especially when it comes to actual health advice, not just equipment. And caregivers are basically an after-thought for many in the healthcare industry. Finding an online support group for those caring for someone on temporary bed rest was next to impossible. Finding the time to even get online was a challenge as well.

I’ll be honest here: I have no solutions. What I have is a fresh understanding for those who tend to the needs of others on a round-the-clock basis. Depression can set in quickly, and support of some kind is necessary for most of us facing a crisis with a loved one, whether as the primary caregiver or as a family member or friend. If we aren’t the primary caregiver, perhaps we can support someone who is, and offer some respite from the daily grind. Bring food. Offer to spell the caregiver, even if it’s only for an hour. Go grocery shopping. Offer to price medical equipment or gather some information online. Or, more simply, maybe make a supportive call — and listen.

Our country is poised to change its healthcare system, and much of the debate centers on things like universal coverage, co-pays, out-of-network doctors, and so on. But with this latest week of care giving under my belt, I’d humbly say thanks to those who do it professionally, and here’s hoping there is something in all of the reform for you.

The River – Pam Billings

Pam Billings, Director of Operations for Homecare Suppliers, wrote this recently and we decided to share it. As each of us encounter the storms of life that affect our daily living, our mobility, our ability to live without or in spite of limits – may there be a word of encouragement on the journey…

Recently a friend called to get information from me about living with Liver Disease. She has a friend whose Mother is dying of Liver Disease. My own dad died of Liver Disease. I wrote the following note to explain my perspective of the disease. This is the first time since my dad’s death that I have written anything about this.

Dear Jane*, (*name has been changed)

Having a parent sick is a roller coaster. You hardly have time to think beyond the care and situation of that loved one. Thoughts swirl – the status of the current situation, the doctor’s qualifications, the nurses’ care, next steps in the medical process, diagnosis, necessary absence from a job, child care, the expense… With all of the decisions that have to be made, you rarely have the opportunity to really contemplate life without this person. Liver Disease not only makes things fuzzy to the victim of it, but it also does so to the family. Liver disease is ugly.

A good analogy for me is a river. The river can be deceptive. The top may be calm and inviting. But what lurks below the water is dangerous and swift; it can surround, pull down, confuse, and eventually drown. When I think back to my dad, I just remember a three year battle of ER visits, hospital stays, and an array of doctors and nurses. Everything is very hazy.

Personally, this is my journey down the river with my dad:

It took over three years, once it was diagnosed. Who knows when the damage actually occurred – probably after all those years of working with photographic chemicals as a professional photographer. And then the condition was possibly further exasperated by his continuous over-use of Extra Strength Tylenol to control his ever increasing migraines that he had as a result of an undiagnosed damaged liver.

I have only three strong memories from that 3 year time frame.

1- A consultation with a neurologist. Her prognosis was ‘permanent brain damage’. That was about a year or more into the disease. Thank God that one did not happen.
–My mother realized that my father needed to have doctors that communicated better with one another. She found a practice that had many “specialists” under their umbrella: heart, diabetes, liver, neurologist, etc… They all got together to discuss his prognosis, his treatment, his diet and the medicine that he took. Mixing various prescriptions can be quite dangerous.

2 – A moment in the ER with my dad laying on a stretcher. He was not very coherent. I really wanted to address issues of forgiveness and eternity. I felt such an urge to tell him about God. I was too afraid to do any of that. So, I instead said something like “you are a good person; you have been a good Dad, and did your best with all of us, and God loves you.”
–Thankfully, God gave him another year and we were able to address those big issues when he was coherent. My husband and I were able to talk to my dad about God. I was able to express how much he meant to me. My siblings were able to spend time with him and verbalize forgiveness and love. Emotional healing came for all of us.

3 – A phone call: “Dad is sick again. We think he will be okay. We will keep you informed.” This was three years into the disease. It was a Thursday. I was on a camping vacation in Minnesota with spotty cell service. Friday there was no call. I assumed that all was well. We went on a paid boat and fishing expedition. I did not give him much thought. I assumed, this was another typical cycle of ER, Hospital and then home. Saturday a phone call: “Come home. Dad is in a coma. He is on life support.” 14 hours of driving – no sleep. From that moment on, I remember everything clearly. They turned off the life support on Sunday afternoon, and he stayed alive for almost 24 hours. However, he was in a coma that whole time. His passing was peaceful! 4 of his 5 children and wife watched him “Go Home”.
–Those last 5 days were not as stressful as they might have been – since my parents had made preparations for this day. My mom had set up herself and two of the children as Power of Attorney. They had signed documentation for a Trust, a will and a Living will prior to his death. They had purchased joint funeral plots and they’d been transparent about their wishes with all of the children.

Jane, I wanted to share my thoughts and story because you need validation for the things you are thinking; the frustration you are feeling; the guilt that you have. It is all normal. If I had to look back and reassess, my only wish is that someone would have said at the beginning, “Let me explain the journey of a failing liver… Get prepared. Talk through the best/worst case scenarios, the unresolved stuff, and what should be done when it is time to really ‘Go Home’.”

I know we were fortunate. My parents were able to make those end of life preparations. They had looked not just to the financial situations to assess, but also at the physical, legal, mental, emotional and even spiritual aspects of the circumstances of his disease and the prognosis of death at the end of the disease. All of us had gone through the physical and verbal motions of “when” and “what to do” regarding his death. Yet, even with all of that, nothing could totally have prepared us for the moment and later the pain of loss. I learned from this experience – you do not know when, but planning ahead, actually makes the end a little easier. When I look back, I only look at the good that came from the situation and have peace knowing that I will see him again.

There are amazing support groups to assist in caring for aging parents. There are also a plethora of resources to assist whatever the situation. Here are some suggestions to keep in mind when caring for a loved-one that is dying.

1. Communicate with doctors, nurses, family and the loved one so that everyone is on the same page and thereby decreasing the opportunity for miscommunication or misunderstandings.
2. Discuss the wishes of the loved one. If possible, put a plan into place including all necessary legal documents such as DNR, Living Wills, and financial arrangements.
3. Be authentic and real. Share with your loved one how much you love them and talk to each other truthfully and honestly.
4. Remember – Be pragmatic yet compassionate and walk in patience.
5. Reach out to family, friends and the community for support for your loved one as well as yourself and your family.
6. Make sure to take time for yourself. Stepping back allows a fresh perspective and renewed understanding as you handle each day.
7. Find a Bereavement Support Group – Hospice, Hospitals, Churches and community organizations usually offer these.