Daily Living Blog

Limitless Living On A Personal Level

As the Holiday seasons began, I had a sense of being slightly overburdened. Was it being the mother of 3 young children? Was my feeling related solely to the fact that I am a homeschool mom who also does freelance work pretty much full time? Maybe it was the added stress of the big project my husband is working on that required more of his time and less time to help us at home? Then there was the concern for my mother-in-law and her needs. While far away she’d been in need of more time to listen as she works through this first Christmas alone and disabled – and we were busily trying to get our “life” done so we could take time off to visit her during the Christmas break. Maybe it was the additional time it took to help loved ones who lives nearby but couldn’t manage some of their usual Holiday activities on their own? Perhaps, it was all of these things plus the general stress of the holidays – stress that we put on ourselves by committing to too many things and making things important that just aren’t.

Whatever caused the burn-out…it came. Last night, just 2 days before Christmas, I realized I’d failed miserably to get it all done. I sat analyzing the lack of sleep, irritability, messy house and a physically unfit body and mental attitude. It took a bit to get my perspective straight.

Then I realized that with over 37.3 million people over the age of 65 – there are a lot of people that are walking exactly what I have walked the last month. There are certified caregivers. And I am sure there are a lot of sandwich generation individuals caring for their young children and assisting their aging parents.

My recent experiences have caused me to look at what priorities are most important. I have the flexibility to say no to a lot of what I do. Some do not – as they are the only one available to care for an aging loved one. I am blessed that my mother is able to be very active still. Those I assist are for the most part able to take care of their basic necessities. And my mother-in-law is blessed with family that loves her and many live near her to take care of the daily needs, while we provide the ear to listen and the visits as much as we are able.

The question I asked myself yesterday was, “do I have my priorities right, so when things change and more of our time and resources are required , we will be ready?” I think this was a valid question for us now. I remember watching this play out in our home when I was in college – my 95 year old grandmother was no longer able to live on her own – my parents had to rearrange everything to care for her.

So, this morning I did what I always do. First I began to analyze my current walk and life. Second, I made a list and began researching how to incorporate changes into our life. Thus, here are some things I need to make priorities.
• Get physically fit and daily exercise: This serves many purposes including aiding us in not being physically exhausted by change in routines, activities and helps decrease stress. Additionally, it will serve as a model to both my children and my aging loved ones. If I’m making it a priority – maybe they will too.
• Stop over-committing! Prioritize what is vital in our daily life. Allow room for spur of the moment needs (like taking someone to the doctor).
• Communicate more with the rest of the family. Keeping each other updated and addressing care issues as they arise. With open lines of communication we can better assess who can do what if the need arises.
• Promote healthy living for every member of our family – from the youngest to the oldest.
• Stop & Smell the ROSES. What a blessing to spend time with my loved ones. They are here and such an important part of our lives. NEVER should they become an obligation or burden.

I guess that one could say that these are resolutions but not just for the New Year but from this day forward. Limitless Living is not just about those who are older or disabled – but all of us!!! So here is to a brand new season of Living Life Unlimited!

Senior Care Check-Up Just In Time For The Holidays

Continuing our theme for the winter season and the holidays – we wanted to share this wonderful article,

Do A Senior Care Checkup When You Visit For The Holidays

Joe Freudenthal, Vintage Senior Living, edited this from an article written by Julie Northcutt.

Seniors Weathering The Storm

Do you have an aging loved one who lives alone? Are you a caregiver dedicated to caring for someone who is homebound? Are you a senior that has difficulty getting out when the weather gets bad?

Recently, we had our first minor snowstorm. Schools were closed, church services were canceled and some areas even lost power; local weather forecasters warned not to leave home unless absolutely necessary. While this was a hindrance to some of us, it was more severe for others. Aging seniors often feel the impact of inclement weather more harshly. Many drive only during the day or rely on assistance from family and friends for rides. When storms come, these seniors are often blocked completely from their normal routine. Additionally, their caregivers may not be able to reach them as they are coping with their own travel restrictions.

Thankfully, with weather, we are often given a warning that a storm is brewing. With this in mind, we have compiled a list of reminders to assist our aging seniors with preparing for the winter season and storms that are sure to come our way.

1. Home Preparation: Make sure the home is ready for winter. Help keep the cold out by installing storm window and/or covering the windows with sturdy plastic. Remember to remove hoses from outdoor water faucets and insulate pipes to keep from freezing. Check fire detectors, CO2 detectors and fire extinguishers. During colder weather – allow indoor faucets to drip to decrease a chance of the pipes freezing.
2. Snow Removal: Check for tools to help with snow removal. Ensure that there is a good snow shovel, rock salt, sand or kitty litter for slippery driveways and walks. Arrange for someone to clear the walkways when it does snow. If your aging loved one lives a distance away, consider hiring a local neighbor to assist with clearing paths, stairs and walkways.
3. Essentials: Make a trip to the store for supplies before the storm comes. Don’t forget essentials, such as prescription medications, extra batteries, first-aid supplies, a week’s supply of food (non-perishable), and bottled water. High energy food, such as dried fruit, nuts, and canned goods that do not require heating are best. Plan on a gallon of water per day per person. Don’t forget a manual can opener. Gather extra blankets, sleeping bags, and warm clothing (at least one change of clothes for each family member).
4. If power outage occurs: Plan a safe alternate source of heat if possible. Keep an ample supply of wood for the fireplace or a kerosene space heater with extra heating fuel. Talk with your aging loved ones about a plan of action and remind them of how to stay warm safely. Make sure that there are flashlights with extra batteries, or candles and matches. Have a portable battery-operated radio to stay tuned to local news. If the furnace goes out, take these precautions. Close off any rooms that aren’t needed. Stuff towels in cracks and under doors to prevent heat loss. Cover windows with blankets at night. Remember to stay nourished and hydrated so the body can produce its own heat.
5. Communication: Have a plan on how best to stay in communication so that you can check on your family and friends. Emergency cell phones are available – just ensure that they have been charged prior to the storm.

As you are going over your checklist with your family and friends this winter season, please remember to embrace those who do not have anyone nearby to assist them. Is there an elderly neighbor that is alone? Someone at church who could use your help? Are there Meals on Wheels programs or Senior Service groups that could use a hand when storms come? We encourage you to reach out and help others to have a Life Unlimited no matter the season!

5 Things Every Senior Should Know About Internet Safety

Recently we have been assisting some older friends with various things including computer issues. At 80, Frank is surprisingly knowledgeable about technology. Shirley is a super whiz when it comes to all things creative including computer software and utilizing the internet for her creativity. Both are adept at email and the social media website, Facebook, as well as various software programs.

During a recent conversation, passwords and internet safety came up in our discussion. I realized that they were unaware of the many scams on the internet. While they understood that they were never to give their social security number, date of birth or any personal information to telemarketers or door-to-door solicitors – they were unaware of the many ways that someone can use the internet and emails to acquire that information in order to deceive them and/or commit fraud and theft.

I discussed some of the most important points that any person should know about computer safety. Today, I thought I’d share them with you as well so you can make sure that not only you – but your older loved ones are aware of these safety measures.

#1 – Protect Your Identity. Do not provide your social security number, date of birth, mother’s maiden name, place of birth, personal information about your children and spouse, passwords, usernames or even your home address to anyone that you do not personally know. Companies that you already deal with, like your bank or credit card company, will NEVER send you an email requesting personal information – they already have it. If you are filling out an online application that requests this information – ensure that you are actually providing it to a legitimate entity through secure means (for example through an encrypted server connection) and make sure that you know the reputation of the party in which you are providing it. If you have any doubts, then don’t do it online.

#2 – Protect Your Computer - Before you do anything via the internet – Make sure that your computer is protected. Keep you operating system and browser software up to date and set to the highest security level you can tolerate. Use quality anti-spyware, anti-virus and firewall software and make sure that it is also current and ON. Use passwords, anti-virus software and firewalls on every computer you use. If you have a wireless connection – make sure that you put a password on it so that it is LOCKED and not usable except by those in your household. Further, schedule your computer to delete history, cookies, passwords, temporary files and the like on a regular basis. Not only will your system run better, but you will further protect yourself.

#3 – Buying Online - Never provide banking information and/or credit card numbers or pin numbers to anyone on the computer except through secure shopping sites. If you are making an online purchase – ensure that the company you are buying from is reputable and has a secure online payment process. Look to see if they are using a verified secure server notification like McAfee Secure, Yahoo, or PayPal. Use credit cards rather than debit cards, and keep track of your purchases by making a list so that you can compare them to your statement when it comes in the mail.

#4 – Passwords – Use strong passwords: at least six characters, including at least one number and/or symbol, and no reference to your name or other personal information. For example, don’t use your street address or your first name and last 4 digits of your social security number. Use a different password for every site that requires one, and change passwords regularly. Keep a list of your current passwords in a paper file – not on your computer. If your computer is ever compromised – you have just done most of the work for the hacker. Also, never send your user name or password via email.

#5 – Email Safety - It is important to look carefully over every e-mail you receive. Don’t just randomly open up the spam mail like you do the junk mail at home. Be careful what you open. Never open e-mail and/or download attachments from anyone if you are not expecting them and if you must open an attachment – always virus scan it first, it could contain a security threat, like Trojan or Spyware. Use any spam filters available for your email provider. These will help separate legitimate emails from spam. Be aware of Scams that come through email and also via direct messaging on the social media websites.

The following is a partial list of SCAMS that are often sent via Email:
■ Advertising on online services – there are no “get rich quick” schemes
For example – Don’t respond (or at least if you do be very careful) to competitons, promotions, surveys etc. They may be an attempt to steal your details.
■ Online auctions – Going . . . Going . . . Uh-Oh! Unless you belong to the auction website, be leery of actually opening the email.
■ Disaster-related scams – when criminals exploit the caring and the victims by asking for money. Do not respond to requests for money unless it is an organization you already support. And if they solicit you – go directly to their website to use a secure server to donate.
■ Nigerian e-mail scam – why would a total stranger want to make you rich? These emails state that you have inherited money. There are also scams that are supposedly from the IRS, the Federal Government and even state officials. If you are to receive money from someone – they would send you a registered letter via the US Post Office – not via your email account.
■ Phishing. You get an e-mail that appears to be from your bank or an online service, most often PayPal or eBay, instructing you to click on a link and provide information to verify your account. Do not click the link. Often these have viruses or malware attached that can steal personal information.
■ Pharming or spoofing. Hackers redirect a legitimate Web site’s traffic to an impostor site, where you’ll be asked to provide confidential information. Scammers have been targeting social networking sites, such as Facebook.
■ Smishing. This is phishing done with text messaging on your smart phone. It instructs you to visit a bogus Web site.
■ Spyware. You’ve unknowingly downloaded illicit software when you’ve opened an attachment, clicked on a pop-up or downloaded a song or a game. Criminals can use spyware to record your keystrokes and obtain credit card numbers, bank-account information and passwords when you make purchases or conduct other business online. They also can access confidential information on your hard drive.

Much of this information was provided via Wired Safety. For additional information on scams – check out their website: http://www.wiredsafety.org/scams_fraud/index.html

Computers and the internet are very easily accessible. They aid so many in living Life Unlimited! This is a wonderful fact. However, in this age of advancing technology – it is also important to know the possible drawbacks and dangers that are out there so we can be safe and secure.

Ruthie’s Lime-Green Polka Dot Socks

Submitted by Vicky Vaughan

It was only about 36 degrees when we pulled out of the driveway to head to Overland Park, Kansas for church Sunday morning. We serve as pastors at an assisted living/Alzheimer care facility where those who, for whatever reason, are no longer able to attend their own churches. The beautiful sunlit thirty minute drive was just a foretaste of the joyous time we were to experience with our folks yesterday during our little one-hour service.

After we arrived, fifteen of our beloved senior friends made their way into the multi-purpose room of the facility, each one finding a place to sit in the circle and we were thrilled to see them all. Everywhere I looked, there were wheelchairs, walkers or canes. More importantly, though, there were human beings. God’s children.

I have many stories to tell about them all, for they are all very dear to my heart. But today I want to tell you about one in particular. Her name is Ruthie. (Her name has been changed in this article to protect her true identity.)

I was especially pleased to see our dear Ruthie show up for church, as she is not always able to be there. A staff member has to bring her because she lives on the ‘locked’ side of the facility, where the residents with memory care issues reside. Ruthie loves church and really hates to miss it. She doesn’t talk much, but when she does, she is very clear.

The very first conversation we had was pretty much a single sentence from her. She walked right up to me and said, in a very matter-of-fact tone, “You have pretty hair.” End of conversation. She turned and went to find a place to sit. Wow. I didn’t know enough about her to know if she COULD talk back then. In that moment, I learned not to underestimate or prejudge the abilities or awareness of an elderly person for any reason.

One of the things I love about Ruthie is the way she dresses. She is very particular about her appearance, always making sure that everything she is wearing is color coordinated. Two weeks ago, her color of choice was green. From head to toe, Ruthie was covered in green. Clothes, shoes, jewelry – everything was green – clear down to her lime green polka-dot socks. Brilliantly green. Ruthie was beautiful and she was wearing the sermon on her feet. Yes, the lime green polka-dot socks spoke to everyone in the room and became the lesson of love from Jesus’ heart that day.

Just looking at the socks made us all smile. We sang a hymn and I danced with Ruthie while we all sang. Ruthie loves to dance. I wondered what else she loves to do. I challenged everyone to remember those socks whenever they felt discouraged. We all wondered if Ruthie would be able to attend the next service, too. I was very curious to see what she would have on her feet if she did!

Once again, Ruthie blessed us with her fashion sense yesterday. Her color of choice was pink. Head to toe. Glancing down at her feet, I was so pleased to see the pretty pink socks with the rainbows and clouds on them. Two of the women decided they are definitely going shopping to find some outrageously colorful socks to wear. Ruthie’s bold taste was an inspiration to them. Everyone loved the socks. And I loved the opportunity to be able to encourage them once again in a way that they may be able to remember. By the end of the service, everyone was more cheerful and encouraged. It’s amazing what God can do with a pair of socks!

We talked about Jesus and how much He loves us. We talked about how our bodies begin to betray us as we grow older and oftentimes our minds do, too. We talked about how we learn something new every day, even if it’s just how to take a new medicine or an interesting fact about the life of a friend. We talked about how we might forget the things we’ve learned because of things like dementia or Alzheimer’s, but Jesus never forgets that we learned them and He takes care of us when we are not able to take care of ourselves.

Many times, we have talked about how we’re all just a bunch of kids inside of wrinkly old bodies that don’t work like they used to work and how we’re always shocked when we look in the mirror and see an old person staring back at us! We laughed, knowing that sometimes younger people just don’t get it, just like we didn’t get it when we were their ages, either, and we were sobered by the awareness that one day they will be the ‘crazy old people’ that the next generation will not understand.

We talked about remembering that the Lord still has purpose for their lives on this earth, or He would have taken them home by now. We talked about the importance of becoming like little children again and we read the verses about Jesus and the children that the disciples wanted Him to send away. Our services are simple. And the Lord is always present with us.

We’ve been going to this particular facility for the last five years, holding Sunday services with them and occasionally officiating or performing at a funeral for one who has ‘graduated’ to heaven. Only two of the seniors from our original little ‘congregation’ remain. Ruthie is one of them. Many have come and gone, for one reason or another. Some have moved to other facilities or into the homes of family members. I wonder about them all.

I’ve sat with some of them as they cried, feeling totally abandoned and unloved by their own families. My heart breaks for those who don’t understand why they are there and why they can’t go home. Who are these people and what were their lives like before they became ‘old’? How does it feel to find yourself in a place where you’re not related to anyone, including the people who are taking care of you?

I wonder about the wisdom that our generations are missing because we have chosen to forget about the elderly because of their ages. That seems insane to me now, although it probably didn’t seem insane when I was young and full of myself and my own ‘wisdom’. I was like so many others – I didn’t have time for them!

I’ve seen and learned many things. I know that my knowledge is still so limited where these folks and their lives are concerned. And as I watch the decline in the physical and/or mental health of some of them – changes that sometimes seem to occur almost over the course of a few days – I am encouraged and humbled by their quiet strength, their seemingly limitless determination to face head-on the trials of old age that are a constant assault against their minds and bodies – many times without the comfort of even one family member to turn to nearby. And I stand in wonder at the God who, in His infinite wisdom, chooses to let them live. They have purpose. They have great worth in His eyes. And those are the eyes that matter.

We have tremendous opportunities before us; opportunities to allow change within us to propel us forward into greater blessings…blessings of the joys that come as we honor those who have lived much longer than we have lived.

Blessings that come as we embrace those who may just know a lot more about life than we do – as we watch and learn from their lives, their hopes and dreams and the lessons they learned along the way. Blessings that come, as we step outside of ourselves and our very busy and hurrying world and fall into step with our parents, grandparents, elderly neighbors and friends for this season in their lives. Blessings that come to them and to us as we listen to their stories, loving each one with our undivided attention.

Many of our senior citizens are very lonely. Extremely lonely. Many of them want someone to talk to, someone to listen to, someone to give them a hug and a kind word. I wrote this article to give the readers a tiny glimpse into the world of the elderly. It is truly a very tiny glimpse, I know. But if it inspires you to consider this season of the year as a reflection of what your own life may be like in the not-too-distant future, then perhaps it will also inspire you to do something about those who already find themselves there.

I truly believe that one of the greatest blessings we will ever find in life comes from being a servant to others. It’s an honor to be able to serve our elderly human family members, whether we are related to them physically or not. So whether you choose to get involved through a nursing home, an assisted living facility or with the senior citizens in your family or neighborhood, please just get involved. Be a friend and be a student.

Do it for them. You’ll be amazed by the changes that you experience as you give more of yourself away for the life of someone else. Will you please join us? Right now there’s a ‘Ruthie’ for you out there, somewhere. Sitting in her little room wearing her lime-green polka dot socks, just waiting.

Vicky
http://vickyvmusic.blogspot.com